December 4, 2014

Things to remember while I'm giving him space:

When he feels like there is room to return and feel things out without the enormous pressure of not crushing your heart to the point of stripping you of happiness and self-worth, he will more likely return. 

It’s important that you don’t force things now.  Don’t try to be perfect to "hook" him or focus on manipulating him into loving you.  Don’t try to force the relationship to happen, and don’t wrap yourself up in resentments and a need to define your self-worth through his appreciation for you. “Sit on your hands” and let the relationship reunite at its own pace.
(Your Tango Article 1)

When a man says he needs his space, there are two things usually happening inside his head:

• There are aspects of the relationship and/or his life that are making him doubt whether or not he wants to stay involved with you.
• There are aspects about you that he loves enough to make him say he needs space instead of "goodbye." This is what you need to bank on while doing what I call the "Love Him, Letter Him, Let Him Go" technique. Remember, there are things you can do to help leave an impression in his head that he won't quickly forget.
• (Your Tango Article 2)

When a man pulls back, it's natural to feel like your world is suddenly shaken up.  This feeling can bring up abandonment issues and it can make us panic about losing him.  When we feel panicky and scared, we reach out.  We start to express love and profess devotion, and we apologize for past injustices on our part.  However, this is a form of rewarding bad behavior.

You don't want to give a man more attention when he needs space; do this when he's trying to please you and is available to love you.  Sometimes we take those good-behavior moments for granted and it's important that you don't.

The "one foot on the brakes, one foot on the gas" routine will make you act neurotic and over-emotional, and you won't feel in control or proud of your actions in the relationship.  I want you to feel good about yourself no matter what he does.  So, drive slow in cruise control.

(Your Tango - Article 3)